Between Reality and Obasanjo's Marijuana)

 

 

In many churches, we have seen doctors, preachers and merchants rolled into one. But Citizen Obasanjo Jimoh is different. He's a real Nigerian - a product of necessity. Arrested recently by the NDLEA for dealing in hemp, Obj diagnosed: "Marijuana is a vegetable that is good for my health. If you want to be high, smoke it. If you come too quickly when with a woman, take it. You'll come back to thank me." Really?

 

 He ceased an opportunity to make himself a doc  - prescribing for himself and others; a merchant - advertising his ware; and a Pentecostal preacher - trying to convince and convert. He's no longer ashamed of his act. He's been hardened by circumstances.

 

Obj came from the background many Nigerians are so familiar with. First, he was driven to drug by poverty - both the social and material kinds. None his fault. He was once a bus conductor. In spite of his poor earnings, government agents like the police and task forces harassed, arrested and collected some. Soon, he was jobless, homeless and hopeless. Then, a chance came through one "Baba," and he joined the biz.

Note: There's often that connection. First, socially induced joblessness, barefaced poverty and then, intro to crime.

 

The issues here are obvious: If he had a secured job, he probably would not have gone into drug trading. The same social welfare/security issue can be raised about 15 years old Joy Ejechi, introduced into the marijuana trade by an aunt. Many armed robbers, prostitutes and other social deviants also came from a similar background. But the government always snubs calls to oil the social machinery that would better the lot of Nigerians. Why?

 

Whenever the society suffocates its citizens, the people revolt in different ways. And, overzealous task forces, police and other government agencies, add injury to the insult. The people are bound to look for a way out to survive. How do the poor, like Obj, pay shylock house owners for shelter; foot the 'crazy bills' for NEPA's inefficiency, contend with the ever-rising fuel prices, bad roads, water rates, etc - if they have nothing doing? Beyond the social poverty, the attempt to keep body and soul together has driven many into crime. This is not justifying the act. But the government and its agencies do not help matters.

 

Obasanjo first took to hemp to "feel high" - obscure the effects of his mental torture and material poverty. But when the dizzying influence cleared, the problems were still there. So, he tried to solve them by selling the hard drug - the same way some prominent Nigerians today have taken to fraud, '419', alcohol and even drugs. He was eventually arrested. But was that the solution? What about the barons in high places? Arresting minor drug dealers, prostitutes, armed robbers, area boys is good. But they are the effects, not the causes; the symptoms, not the ailments. How about providing jobs; ensuring good roads, steady electricity, affordable housing, water and low fuel prices?

 

When the government refuses to deal with the social problems, it inadvertently confirms that its officials and politicians suffer a case worse than Obj's. For, only the worst case of moral and mental poverty would make the people granted mandate in a social contract to breach the trust. 

 

But the chicken always comes home to roost. At the end of the day, after the euphoria of office; after what Mrs Mobolaji Osomo once called "grab, grab culture," the reality is always waiting. Like Obj, they would be brought back from on "high." The dizzying effects of whatever makes them overlook the tangible problems before them would one day wear off. And like the Abachas, they would one day obey the law of gravity.      

 

Arrest This 'Evil Spirit'

Dial 199. Call the police. The evil spirit is on the loose. Call Enoch Adeboye, the GO of the Redeemed Christian Church of God. How come he allowed that stubborn being to mislead his member? Sunday Tunde is in trouble: "I don't understand this kind of spirit that entered into me. I just couldn't control it. It was just pushing me to go and make love to my fellow man," he confessed.

 

Another, a drug suspect, also blamed his trade on the infamous 'devil.' Is the controversial veterinary doctor, Ewuzie Lauren,  a member of Redeemed, too? After speaking in tongues at the NDLEA office, he said, "the devil is a lair." Yet, he never told us what the devil said.

 

But this is Nigeria, not England where gay priests mount the pulpits. Here, rape, homosexuality and hard drugs dealings are criminal. So, if ST blames "evil spirit" for his act, why does he regret "ever making love to a woman," in preference to a man? When he blamed the unseen negative force, I had the impression he has changed. But he hasn’t. He has an unquenchable thirst for men. Even in commercial buses. "I use my penis to press on the unsuspecting passenger. I am the kind of guy that if I have feelings for sex and I touch a man's buttocks with my penis, I will be relieved. So, I can get satisfaction in a molue bus." Oh yeah? Real quickie. How nice!

 

Why did the "doc" too blame the "devil" for his sins, if he knew the being was a liar?

It's been a practice with many Nigerians. Perhaps, influenced by the gimmicks used by commercial Pentecostalism, they blame their pervasions and misdeeds on an unseen evil force. That, to me, is an attempt to run away from responsibility. It is like one trying to hide behind his finger. They are the ostriches. Whoever does wrong should trace the root to a practical end. And pay for it. Even the Bible cautions that we should resist the devil and he would flee. So, assuming it really was the devil that tempted Tunde and Lauren, did they resist?

 

The bottom here are self-control and mind development. The moral base of an individual comes to play. Agreed, sometimes, social forces push somebody into crimes like stealing, drug dealings, etc. But those deal with physical survival; not emotional cravings. When a man is a prisoner to his passions and emotions, there is no reason to blame it on an 'evil spirit.' But if they insist, let the society be set free: Imprison the evil spirit with them. Better still, General Obasanjo should order the IG to shoot the devil or evil spirit "on sight." Just the way he did to Labour. Abi?

 

 

Auwal,  Marry my Mum

I heard the Bauchi House of Assembly is searching for a wife for its speaker. What a coincidence! For a while now, I’ve been looking for a husband for my mum. Hey! Put out the searchlight.

 

Mohammed Auwal, 35, has not been married before. Perhaps, he never made enough money in his pharmaceutical business to seek a bride. Now, he can afford to marry 10. And the in-laws are sure of bags of kudi. Already, Auwal is in trouble. His house has become a Mecca for over a thousand fathers parading their "virgin" daughters for the first choice.

 

 A lawmaker said, "in this part of the country, it is a taboo to have an unmarried person in such a sensitive position." But didn't they know Auwal was not married when they elected him? In any case, who said marriage is still a sign of responsibility? The way they are going confirms they themselves see it as a status symbol. How many of our married politicians are responsible in the socio-moral sense of it?

Anyway, if Auwal considers my mum, I'll make no charges. Forget the bride price… just give me like 50 contracts. Chikena!

 

 

• First published in Saturday Sun of  August 19, 2003