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Thomas Crooks, The Trump Shooter, Is A Nigerian!

  Thomas Crooks Thomas Crooks was just an ordinary guy until he listened to his overtaxed brain.  Brain: Do you know you can be famous? Crooks: How? Brain: By attempting the infamous!  So, Crooks picked his father’s AR-15-style semiautomatic rifle. He listened to his confused brain again and headed to a rally nearby. Minutes later, he did a crooked thing by firing at Donald Trump!  Crooks wasn't a known professional crook. But he obviously had a enough crooked mind to store explosives in his car and home.  Yes, the Trump shooter was one man. But his name, “Crooks,” gave the impression of a multiple negative character. His crooked act and plans probably justified the addition of letter “s” to a his name, making him one but many crooks! Crooks’  “crooked shot missed Trump by an inch. Thomas Crooks was probably so crooked that he couldn't think straight. But thank God he couldn't shoot straight, either. Otherwise, the world would have missed a daring, straight...
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I PROTEST! TINUBU’S OLD-NEW ANTHE IS A COUP AGAINST FATHERS!

 

Fathers aren't smiling!


Pa Udo, sat on his rickety chair, listening to the radio. A sports analyst with Ernest Okonkwo’s voice was doing his thing. Shortly, the new (old) anthem came on. “Nigeria, we hail thee…Nigerians all are proud to serve, our sovereign MOTHERLAND”!


Pa Udo sighed deeply and muttered, “Even the anthem has turned against us.”


The President and the lawmakers singing the old-new anthem.

The just discarded anthem asked us to “arise…To serve our FATHERLAND.” But Tinubu and his clownish lawmakers said that anthem made everything, except our manhood, to “arise.” Inflation. Fuel price. Cost of living. Corruption. Insecurity. High blood pressure. Etc. 


It's not just the change in words; it’s a symbolic coup de grâce. From “fatherland” to “motherland!” Fathers, once proudly mentioned in our national anthem, now find themselves sidelined, yet again. It's as if the nation has decided that fathers are best left in the background, quietly holding the fort while mothers continue to bask in the glory of national recognition.


A mother on “omugwo”

Already, mothers enjoy the highest recognition in most families. And societies. Take Mother’s Day, for instance. Countless! The Anglican one, the Catholic one, the international one, the African one, and probably a few more that I haven’t even heard of. Each comes with its own celebration, complete with flowers, gifts, and accolades.


Father’s Day? Singular. One day in the year where dads are given mention and maybe a new pair of socks, if they’re lucky. 


Then there’s the “omugwo”. Mothers are whisked away to different cities and even countries to be pampered by their daughters after the birth of a grandchild. Meanwhile, fathers remain rooted in the villages, occasionally invited toextended family gatherings. Yet, if they join “Bobrisky” now, so they go for “omugwo”, people will shout!


What about the financial disparity? Mothers receive bundles of naira notes quietly inside the bedroom. Fathers are given a public display of N2,000, only for their wives to collect N1,000 out of it, later. Yet, in most cases, fathers still die first for mothers to continue the enjoyment!


In multiples

I think men need an association for men’s rights! And left, too! I hereby start the protest!


You see, just when fathers thought it couldn’t get any worse, Tinubu has deprived them of appreciation in the national anthem. The just discarded anthem, which spoke of serving our "fatherland" with pride, has been swapped for an old-new one that hails the "motherland."


Ah, Nigeria! While we grapple with the highest inflation rates in nearly three decades and food prices that make shopping an expedition to a diamond mine, our leaders found a solution in switching our national anthem from celebrating the “fatherland” to singing praises to the “motherland.” It might look like a minor change, but for Nigerian fathers, it might be the final straw in a long series of slights.


Well, fathers,  take heart, smile through the tears, and hold up half the sky. Because, if you don’t laugh at the absurdities from our leaders, you might just cry and flood the streets!

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