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Thomas Crooks, The Trump Shooter, Is A Nigerian!

  Thomas Crooks Thomas Crooks was just an ordinary guy until he listened to his overtaxed brain.  Brain: Do you know you can be famous? Crooks: How? Brain: By attempting the infamous!  So, Crooks picked his father’s AR-15-style semiautomatic rifle. He listened to his confused brain again and headed to a rally nearby. Minutes later, he did a crooked thing by firing at Donald Trump!  Crooks wasn't a known professional crook. But he obviously had a enough crooked mind to store explosives in his car and home.  Yes, the Trump shooter was one man. But his name, “Crooks,” gave the impression of a multiple negative character. His crooked act and plans probably justified the addition of letter “s” to a his name, making him one but many crooks! Crooks’  “crooked shot missed Trump by an inch. Thomas Crooks was probably so crooked that he couldn't think straight. But thank God he couldn't shoot straight, either. Otherwise, the world would have missed a daring, straight...

Are We All Going Mad?

 


 

A young woman roaming the streets one day saw what she thought an abomination. A man was eating from a dustbin placed outside  the fence of a beautiful mansion. “Hey!” Shouted the woman. “How can you be eating from a dustbin? Are you mad?” The man looked up  with a mix of anger and scorn. “If I am  mad, then you are crazy. If you are not, why are you walking about naked?”  And the young lady laughed a long while before replying: “I’m not crazy, my friend. I’m just a little unwell, mad man like you!”

 

Last week, a professor of Psychiatry was proven right, when he said there was a rise in mental illness. With the spiraling events in the polity, which left the mind in a daze, Dr Bisi Odejide, the chief medical officer (CMD) of Ladoke Akintola University of Technology, Ogbomoso, hit the nail on the head. He said, “our people often focus on severe mental illness but mild ones are much more common.”  He reportedly said the ailment was “no respecter of class, creed, religion or hierarchy.” However, it seems the doc went for the conservative figure when he put the number of those affected at only 36 million.

 

We do not have to use the formula Obasanjo uses to share the Federal Allocation. If we share Odejide’s figure into the 36 states, we come up with 1million each. But what happens to Abuja, the home of politicians, where the greatest level of madness is exhibited daily? To me, considering the poverty, unemployment, homelessness, etc, which Odejide named as the causes of the trauma, it seems we are all going mad.

 

There is madness everywhere. On the roads, in the houses, offices, professions, in government policies, markets, etc. Odejide said one doesn’t have to be admitted to a psychiatric home to be confirmed as mentally ill. In other words, there are degrees of madness. And I can easily identify “madness of the leg” – the sufferers can walk from Kano to Akwa Ibom without fatigue. They may not even know that they had walked that far. There’s “madness of the mouth” – check out the politicians, the honorable men! They talk from both sides of the mouth. They talk without thinking. They lie  through their teeth, even to themselves. There is the “madness of the head.” The victim could forget things easily. He could be erratic, irrational, etc. But the worst, I think, is the madness of the heart. It comes with vindictiveness, hatred, venom, vile, and all the other emotions. In fact, all the frustrations imposed by the other types of madness come to bear on the heart. So, the sufferer of “madness of the heart” is automatically a victim of the other kinds of madness.

 

On the roads, especially in the cities, some say you need to be mad to survive. And the madness shows in the way we drive – swerving into the front of the next vehicle with impunity. Then, you turn and ask the next man: “Are you mad?” Or in a better delivery, we tell him outright that, “You de craze.” Without knowing it, madmen have then taken over the roads. And, surprisingly, the Federal Road Safety Commission (FRSC) does nothing about our madness. You must learn a few curse words to belong, especially in Lagos.  It appears FRSC has even made it mandatory that prospective drivers must utter a certain number of offensive words before qualifying for a driver’s license.

 

The madness at home can only make you, well, mad. It’s frustrating trying to pay rents, NEPA bills, buy fuel, etc and then feed so many mouths with a meagre salary. Then, if you are unfortunate to be trapped by  a nagging wife or girlfriend,  say your last prayer. In the market, the madness there has affected prices. A N10 worth of item  two weeks back could be N1,000. And if you don’t want to go mad like the person telling you the ridiculous price, just smile and say, “e go better!” Never mind the mad man next to you who might be mischievous enough to ask you “when?” Well, if you want to be dramatic  yourself, the better answer should be, “when government policies stop spreading madness”. For that is the reality. 

 

Many  ill-mannered drivers blame bad roads for their acts. Sometimes they are right. But then, when they stop in the middle of the road to pick passengers should we blame government too? Perhaps, the madness  already ingrained in them has become difficult to exorcise.

 

Odejide said “the phenomenon has caused (many) people to troop to churches, mosques  and traditional healing homes” to resolve the conflict within them. But then, they only meet a different kind of madness there – commercialisation of “miracles.”  In the process, the “healers” dramatise their “powers” on TVs, print posters claiming what they do not have. And because many of those who seek “miracles” are not schooled in scepticism, they gullibly swallow the hooks. Only when their pockets and beings are milked dry do they come to their senses.

 

Even in schools, there is madness – high fees, poor learning environment, bullies called cultists, etc. Education is now for the highest bidder – either in cash or in kind. Unfortunately, like a madman who doesn’t know that he’s mad, nobody caught in the various realms of madness admits his fate. Why? Because, some argue, madness is a thing of the mind. Really?! Some even argue that madness is only mental. But they miss the point. Madness could be mental or social, but it’s as real as other ailments. In fact, the mental or psychological madness eventually affects the social strata. Is it therefore not a demented mind that would physically assassinate a fellow human - all for money and vendetta? And when that happens, as in the recent Nigerian experience, does it not affect the society?

 

Now, there’s a new dimension of madness in the air. It’s in form  of a little kite called TTS. TTS, by the way is  “Third Term Syndrome,” and could have been borne only out of sick minds. In recent times, there have been this talk of General Olusegun Obasanjo attempting a third term as Nigeria’s president. Some say the proposed constitutional review in the National Assembly has to do with the scheming to perpetrate Obasanjo in office. The envisaged review would permit a single term of five years and the permutation, we are told, is that since that constitution would be starting afresh from the 1999,  one  that Obasanjo swore to twice, he would be allowed to take office another term. Some say, since Jolly Nyame got away with it via a court ruling, Obasanjo would equally sail through.

 

Well, we know that in Nigeria, like Charley Boy’s show, anything can happen. But isn’t it madness to contemplate bringing  Obasanjo back? I’m sure Baba is tired of criticisms, tired of seeing his “good intentions” turn sour; tired of party squabbles; tired of aides who constantly “misinterpret” policies and all. The president is a man of sound mind, that his doctors would confirm. But aren’t all the confusion and the general madness in the land enough to make even the sanest mind dizzy? Thank God  some presidential aides  have refuted the “wild” speculations that Obasanjo is planning a  Third Term.  Let’s  hope the reports are truly “wild,” bearing no substance to what may come to pass. However, Nigerians’ fear  is well founded in the past. General Sani Abacha was here, once. While he planned to succeed himself, his aides and loyalists were busy making Nigerians believe the opposite. They almost succeeded, but for the unseen supreme “hand” in the fate of men! 

 

Sometimes, it appears  the men in power enjoy our madness. Otherwise, why should  it take Nigeria’s Accountant General about five years to inform us about the actual amount he released to Chief Tony Anenih, as Works minister. For years, Nigerians have lived with the belief that Anenih got N300billion and did nothing with it. Yet, the egg-heads in the Finance ministry knew the truth but watched us tear one another apart. If  Governor Orji Kalu of Abia State had not raised the issue in his letter to Obasanjo, I’m sure  we would not have known the “true version.” Where then is the much talked about spirit of accountability in this atmosphere of madness?

 

The madness spreading in this land is not spiritual. It touches our physical entities and the earlier we got rid of it the better for our polity.  It has little to do with endless prayers and ‘fastings;’ it has nothing to do with dramatised “miracles” at religious centres. The first step towards healing is self realisation - admitting, for once, that we are “ a little unwell.” Then, determination – the exercise of mind power - to clean the “stable” would exorcise the madness. No god would come to the realm of men to do it. Man, heal thyself! Amen!

 

  • First published in Saturday Sun of  March 20, 2004

 

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