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Thomas Crooks, The Trump Shooter, Is A Nigerian!

  Thomas Crooks Thomas Crooks was just an ordinary guy until he listened to his overtaxed brain.  Brain: Do you know you can be famous? Crooks: How? Brain: By attempting the infamous!  So, Crooks picked his father’s AR-15-style semiautomatic rifle. He listened to his confused brain again and headed to a rally nearby. Minutes later, he did a crooked thing by firing at Donald Trump!  Crooks wasn't a known professional crook. But he obviously had a enough crooked mind to store explosives in his car and home.  Yes, the Trump shooter was one man. But his name, “Crooks,” gave the impression of a multiple negative character. His crooked act and plans probably justified the addition of letter “s” to a his name, making him one but many crooks! Crooks’  “crooked shot missed Trump by an inch. Thomas Crooks was probably so crooked that he couldn't think straight. But thank God he couldn't shoot straight, either. Otherwise, the world would have missed a daring, straight...
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N20 MILLION GIST AND THE REAL DEAL!

This represents N20 million


Ladies and gentlemen, gather here,let’s gist. Okay, you already know the digital realm is currently reeling from shock. Yes o. A young lady  boldly claimed she rakes in N20 million from one man in just a week. Yes, you heard right. Twenty. Million. Naira. In one week! 


So, let's talk about the real heroes here – we, the spenders!  Flavour challenged me the other day: “how much is money?” Ater that, I started dishing out cash with the finesse of a seasoned philanthropist. Yet, no one trumpets my generosity to the world. 


The other day, I embarked on a spending spree that would make Bill Gates envious. Did anyone announce it on social media? No. Did I expect a medal? Absolutely not. I simply did what any serious man would do. I bought school bags for my daughters. Yes, you heard me. Stylish, durable school bags, ensuring they stroll into their classes with the swagger of future leaders.



I treated my sisters to ice cream, because, let's face it, I hate the frosty milk inside the sweet, creamy goodness. And let's not forget my wife, who received a delightful brisket bone, a delicacy that would make any meat-lover swoon. I also gave her a solid N2,500, too – no questions asked, no explanations needed!


Next, I picked some biscuits for my mum, because some old ladies like tea and  classic Nigerian snacks - for their milk teeth(?). And,  my girlfriend? She got data, urgent 2k and, well, spag! No questions asked, no drama, just swift financial support. 


Lastly, I couldn’t forget my female dog. Yes, she got her favorite indomie. Not just any indomie, mind you – the premium, double-egg, and sausage-laden variety.


Saida-boast!


Before I knew it, N50m was gone! Just in five minutes! So, let that girl not mistakenly mention my name in her senseless story o.


Now, I admire a good hustle. So, let’s pretend to believe that our boastful sister. After all, we are not only expected to be our brothers’ keepers but also our sisters’ goalkeepers!


Okay, in an economy where some of us can’t remember the lyrics of an old-new anthem, or even the PIN to our ATM cards, here's a girl who has men queuing to stack cash at her feet as she walks to the saloon. Really? Story for the gods!


It's baffling how we've come to a point where mindless extravagant tales of financial indulgence make headlines, while the real acts of love and support go unattended. 


What kind of person turns herself into a human ATM, where the transaction fee is measured in millions? This isn’t just a questionable career choice; it’s a masterclass in misguided priorities.


This scenario is as baffling as it is entertaining. Yet, while she basks in the glow of her self-proclaimed financial prowess, let's check on the impressionable young girls who live on social media street.


Call it high-stakes hustle or what you may. That girl's simply promoting a platinum-plated form of prostitution. So, young minds, apply caution: not all money is worth it. In fact, some come with tangled strings, they could snare even the savviest among us.



 Meanwhile, let's not kid ourselves; blame some men for encouraging such easy virtue. While these “agba ballers” or “odogwus” are busy blowing their fortunes, allegedly, at her feet, the real kindness and generosity to the needy are grossly neglected. The common good is nailed!


Some men, it seems, have too much money and too little sense. N20 million a week? For what? Is she a shareholder in Dangote Group? Does she have the Midas touch that turns everything to gold? Or maybe, just maybe, some of these men are simply paying a premium for their poor judgment. 


In a world where the worth of a man is increasingly measured by the depths of his pockets rather than the content of his character, we need to reassess our values. It's high time we focus on the real acts of generosity, the kind that don't come with a price tag or a social media boast. 


Careful not mess with the young minds!


So here's to the men who spend wisely and generously, for common good. The fathers who invest in their children's future, the brothers who bring joy to their sisters' lives, the husbands who support their wives without question, and yes, even the boyfriends who buy indomie and brisket bone. 


And, to our N20 million naira queen, we offer a hearty round of applause for her imaginative storytelling. But while she’s busy crafting her next viral sensation, perhaps she could take a page from our book – the book of quiet, meaningful achievenents. Because sometimes, the loudest wealth is the one that doesn’t need to be shouted from the rooftops.


 

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