Fear of Cloning!

  

A British tabloid scared me last week with a “chilling” report. The Sun of London said an American, Panayiotis Zavos, was cloning humans. A fertility doctor, Zavos ran to the Middle East for his experiment. He’s already created an advanced human embryo cloned from the cells of a 46-year-old woman. 

 

The problem’s not Zavos’s motive – he “desires to help” people. “If people want to have children and cannot in the normal way, and I can do something about it, I will do so”, he reportedly said. Forget also the numerous failed attempts the cloning would go through. It took 227 failed efforts before Dolly became a sheep in 1996. It died of lung cancer and severe arthritis in February, 2003, aged six.

 

The real problem is the risk of the venture to us in Nigeria. Well, cloning humans may help infertile couples, but that would also take food from many people. What would the numerous herbalists parading themselves in different guises do if their clients suddenly have Zavos-cloned babies?  Obviously, years of deceit, cajoling, drinking of all sorts of concoctions would be over for the clients. But what about the “docs”?  What would they eat from? How would they have “free women” to seduce and sleep with? We’ve heard horrible tales emanating from the “cure” homes. We are also aware of the “419” cure-all “docs”, who do wonders with just one leaf or root-type.

 

At the other end are different kinds of “doctors”. The ones in mushroom miracle kiosks with sentences for names.  E.g: “Come To Me All Ye In Need Of Children Miracle Centre International Gospel Church Incorporated”.  Somehow, they use “something” to lure the people in dire need of babies; pretending to represent God. No, they are God and “give” babies, once you “see” the pastors. So, the women move from one church to another “receiving “only renewed promises of the much vaunted miracle babies. The pastors “perform” very physical deliverance on them to no end. Nothing is spared – from finger-testing to the actual. Most times, when the women get tired, they move over to another church – still in search of the elusive tots. 

 

Now, imagine what Zavos would have done for such women. But then, consider also what that would mean to the cash-generating, lust satisfying business called churches. In fact, the turnover of many “miracle centres” would turn red. And the “shareholders”, the pastors and their families, would be out of business. Too bad! The television stations would have run low on revenue. For, who would buy 90 per cent of their air time if the churches close shop? On the whole, it would end up a bad “dividend” for Nigerians. Truly, unemployment would shout louder than Stella Obasanjo’s wig and makeup. And crime would surge like the dictator’s anger at NLC.  For sure, it’s not in the interest of Nigerians that Zavos should succeed. Forget the pros of cloning! 

 

Anyway, Zavos says he’d be “selling” his products for 100,000 pounds each. Multiply that by the ever diving naira. The real Nigerians have no chance of benefitting from the feat. That’s why they flood miracle centres, hoping to receive, as God intended, free tots. The reality is: Zavos would only replace the herbalists and the churches. It would be a different way of milking the same cow.  The only difference would be, well, if there is any difference. But then, perhaps, only our politicians would afford those “manufactured   goods”. 

 

But wait! What would be the fate of Nigeria if we clone the present crop of politicians? Would this country ever survive? That would mean more bribery scandal in the National Assembly. More Ngiges would sign more deals with Ubas; and swear at more shrines to mortgage Anambra and other states. That would mean more mediocre Ministers. That would mean more executive-induced corruption. What do you make of a situation a President appoints a Minister but sends him to lobby senators for approval? Nasir el-Rufai, Minister of Abuja, said Olusegun Obasanjo and Atiku Abubakar asked him to go “see” Senators Mantu and Zwingina to facilitate his clearance. Does that sound like leaders out to fight corruption?  Well then, imagine a Nigeria with a sea of heads - all belonging to an Obasanjo!

 

Cloning is a serious issue. Forget the religious sentiment that people like Zavos would be competing with God. Was it not God who gave scientists the sense to experiment? If nobody challenged God, by exercising his brain, would we be enjoying the amenities of civilisation today? The point is, for us in Nigeria, an Abacha, in a military garb, was enough for a lifetime. And, oh God, a multiplied Obasanjo, in bogus adire, would sink this nation. 

 

First, his replicated faces on our TV screens would blow the tubes. Further danger of a multiplied Obasanjo would be that all of them would want to serve second term each, as president of this country. If we can’t contend with one, how can we live with many Obasanjos? Can we ever survive with a weekly fuel price increase by all the Obasanjos? Implicitly, a cloned Obasanjo would mean our roads would remain forever bad; we would only get crude words and poor electricity supply. It would be a multiplication of our woes. It would be a cloning of our sufferings.

 

On the other hand, Obasanjo would live forever. Abacha wouldn’t have died, either. For, there would be spare parts to change troubled kidneys, hearts, etc. Obasanjo, for instance, would be able to change his gullet. And that would save our eardrums from his habitual clearing of throat on national TV.

 

But, who would the cloned babies point as their fathers? Would it be scientist Zavos or those they’d be cloned from? In Nigeria, we are always proud of our roots. So, would the cloned babies not be taunted into social recluses, if they can’t trace their lineage? I have always had a similar concern about children from surrogate mothers. Who, I ask, do we say is the real mother – the owner of the egg or the owner of the womb and blood the embryo was nourished with to term? How would the psychology of a cloned baby be? Would their life expectancy rise or fall? Now, won’t we be in danger of rich nations cloning armies to overrun poor countries? Would cloning not turn into another weapon of mass destruction? Cloning may have its positive motives and it’s advancement in knowledge. But I have my fears. And only time and experience can dispel them.

 

• First published in Saturday Sun of  Oct 25, 2003