Thomas Crooks Thomas Crooks was just an ordinary guy until he listened to his overtaxed brain. Brain: Do you know you can be famous? Crooks: How? Brain: By attempting the infamous! So, Crooks picked his father’s AR-15-style semiautomatic rifle. He listened to his confused brain again and headed to a rally nearby. Minutes later, he did a crooked thing by firing at Donald Trump! Crooks wasn't a known professional crook. But he obviously had a enough crooked mind to store explosives in his car and home. Yes, the Trump shooter was one man. But his name, “Crooks,” gave the impression of a multiple negative character. His crooked act and plans probably justified the addition of letter “s” to a his name, making him one but many crooks! Crooks’ “crooked shot missed Trump by an inch. Thomas Crooks was probably so crooked that he couldn't think straight. But thank God he couldn't shoot straight, either. Otherwise, the world would have missed a daring, straight...
The first time I met Governor Victor Attah, I duffed my glasses. I had no cap on. I was, indeed, drawn in by his sharp wits and easy answers to vexatious questions. He was in Lagos, soon after his election, to meet the Akwa Ibom community. The man was so smooth with his ready-made answers that I unconsciously clapped. Although, his aides threw us (poor journalists) out of the Government Lodge by 2 am, I left wondering: If only he tackles problems the way he answers questions…
First term over, Attah no longer talks fresh. He seems to shy away from media attention. In fact, the Attah I saw last week certainly looked a harassed man. A man unhappy with himself. Perhaps, for non-performance. I read his lips hard but ended up confused. And worried. It was September 23, the 16th birthday of Akwa Ibom, “the land of my birth.” A birthday nobody agreed should be “celebrated”. A birthday even Attah’s lieutenants were afraid to talk about. They refused to grant interviews on the excuse that there was “nothing to celebrate”. Eventually, the governor ordered it should only be “marked”.
Then, in a broadcast recorded behind closed doors, he laboured to raise the non-existing hope of the people again. It must have been tough for him. He hardly looked up. Was he ashamed? He spoke of “a harsh downturn” experienced by the people and admitted that, “unrealised dreams may cause sadness”. That was statemanly – admitting his shortcomings. Then, he preached: “it is low aim and not failure that is the crime”. Really?
Attah promised “not to cease from dreaming big dreams”. His penchant for long dreams, he said, was inherited. The seed for Akwa Ibom, he said, was planted in 1928, “when our forebears had a dream”. Between 1928 and 1987 is about 60 years. So, since Attah has fashioned his dream after that of his forebears, should the people then wait 60 years for good roads, affordable housing, light and good drinking water? Unthinkable!
Attah managed to repesent old dreams as new. Well, free education is new in Akwa Ibom but the gov merely dusted his old list - Ibom Power Plant (IPP), Ibom Refinery, stadium complex, state secretariat complex, Information Technology Park, University of Science and Technology, Airport, Oil depots. Then, he added new ones: dualisation of Nwaniba Road, Fertiliser Plant “and a number other new industries.” I also heard talks of a Film Village, in the offing. There is also the “dream” to resuscitate the Aluminium Smelter Company (ALSCON) at Ikot Abasi and the Newsprint Manufacturing Company (NMMC) at Oku Iboku. Good plans. On paper. But trying to deceive the people that the unfulfilled promises of 1999 would be actualised by 2007, was, like Obasanjo would say, a joke taken too far.
Beyond plans to ”re-invigorate” oil palm, cocoa and rubber plantations, Attah spoke of “massive cultivation of cassava and rice…to earn foreign exchange”. But sir, may we have what to eat first? So far, only Champion Breweries has shown a sign of revival. Qua Steel in Eket, Plasto-Crown, Quality Ceramics, Biscuit Factory and even the most recent Anchor Insurance Limited are all comatose.
Dreams, Attah said, “serve as a compass to direct us to conquer the horizon, and so I will continue to dream and visualise things that will transform this land and people.” But then, his dreams are all “in anticipation of our improved resource base”. They are dependent on Obasanjo’s campaign promise to sign the bill abrogating the onshore/offshore dichotomy. In other words, if Obasanjo refuses signing the “Resource Control” bill, things would grow worse in Akwa Ibom. Then, even Attah’s dream would not be worth a dream. It would only be a “promised dream”.
- First published in Saturday Sun of Oct 04, 2003
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